A CUP OF COFFEE

3

While sitting next to the window, my hand was warm and easily holding the cup of coffee. My eyes were busy in finding beauty in between the rage outside the window. I can’t deny that I was trying to escape the reality. I took a sip, blinked my eyes and within second I felt the flow of adrenaline, I felt the warmth I was searching in my life. It was hard to believe that I was lucky having that sip (a perspiring touch at the surface of my tongue, that sugary taste & “slurp slurp slurp” ) but yes I was. There is a saying coffee makes things easier. One sip, one sight. ( First sight..second sight….mum calling “come fast we are about to leave”) ..”coming” I shouted. I fasten myself, fasten the sound slurp-slurp-slurp but again my eyes got stuck outside the window. My spec was divine to me at that time. I am grateful to that circular rim monocle that was making a way to peep at something which people usually avoid.

“Hurry up! You are always late” mum buzzed. “Oh I am always.. do it fast! pack your bag” cheering to myself. I forcefully distracted my eyes out of the window and started packing. I putted that cup on the table, stretched my leg towards Almirah and opened it. I was continuously murmuring to myself “fast fast fast”..anyone around me could feel that ventilation of getting late and flow of oxygen and carbon in-out of my nose…I took out my clothes and even at once I got confuse “should I take black one or lee Cooper’s” but then “do it fast dear, take anyone of it!”. I thrown all the clothes into my suitcase like a pile of scrap, but it was in need at that time. With the same pace I picked up my suitcase and ran off to the stairs, leaving that coffee smelling cup having my finger print at the table.

I came down, took a deep breath (as if I got first in a race) and adjusted my glasses. Meanwhile , my dad came and said we have to wait for half an hour because first he have to repair the tracker of the car, it’s somehow not working. And at that time my face expression was worth to see for anyone who wanted to LOL. As expected, I got annoyed. But I praised the idea of getting back near the window, as it didn’t fade away from my sub conscious mind.

I went up to the stairs where it all started. But this time it didn’t work. I sat down, trying to fix my pupil around those little things I was watching outside the window but I was unable to feel that same aroma of realization. 35 minutes ago, I was clearly able to see a boy with golden brown messy hairs with torn shirt of only one sleeve and a red pant stained with soil (seems like if it was borrowed from any school going child). His face was rough-hewn but all in between his dirty face one could see his pity glowing eyes. He was professionally a balloon seller, (not because he was surely but because I am narrating it to myself). He was less selling and more begging to get sold. He was roaming around people and knocking windows of all cars passing by the same street. In contrast I could also see people with ugly faces and brighter clothes running and moving towards their work place or destination as if the reason behind the displacement of the earth are these people, putting their whole strength to maintain the pace of the earth by their activities. From window they looked small but crowd. Near turning, there was a traffic police. Wearing his dress, he was extraordinary in his duty. A women passing through the footpath, maintaining her scarf, so that she could not get wind inside her ears. Pollution was overlapping population. Noise of any screaming infant was much soothing than the noise of vehicles. Street was much colder than the coldness of the weather. There was the dominance of human over that land because my window could weight it correctly. One could feel this rush and rage in compare to my still coffee, which was smooth and warm to the heart.

Absence of coffee in the cup let me understand how much I use to be in groove. Yes I was out of that rush. I was happy holding that cup and most importantly I was still with reference to the outer world. My heart was calm. Not everyone get this, not every time even.

(~sigh~) Breathing. Relaxing. Opening fist to the air. Breathing again, I appreciated the warmth of my life I am getting from these little things. Life is all about how you feel at your stillness, and I feel hopeful.

And then I putted that cup at its right place.

“Everybody come now, we are going to leave..it’s gonna be a perfect vacation!” … Dad’s calling.


Advertisements

Pleasure Of Pain

“Life is perfectly not a good choice, death may be simple and peaceful but still not a good choice again” an honest acceptance by my mind, while the sun was at its height.

hiding_my_feelings-1296019234

 

But  then I start making excuses. In between the sun set and  arise of night angel my mind speaks again “You can’t deny the fact, that birth and death ain’t your choice but the journey is.”  Isn’t it difficult to bear the variations of our own mind? its like a swirling tornado of thoughts that you actually don’t want but it happens.

After sprinkling motivations and old age philosophies on myself, it is mid night and  again my eyes are blinking to adjust with light or you can say life. I’m somehow managing myself to think again….”reminding yourself that you are hurted is definitely not a good idea but you know little child..pain is important. Imagine your life without pain, don’t you think it’s a push? ..everyone needs it! It is something we are invisibly dependent on to keep moving. It’s like a ‘driving force’ and yes its driving me! It’s a essence of being alive because without dark, existence of light can’t be traced. ohh wait! pain never says, “my dear friend stop walking in your life because I’m in and what else you need to do in your life is to be sad all the time.” Definitely not! you’ll not make any step forward until you feel that standing in that position is not satisfying and that is what pain is. It is something which keeps us reminding that ‘WHY’ you never have to stop yourself in the journey of life. Trust me pain is a magical thing if we know its true meaning. Without pain, happiness is just a noise of laughter. I’m lucky I learned a lot and never stopped myself where it was expected..thanks to the most painful part of my life, I’m happy now.”

After a huge fight between my heart and mind…I have written the blog and went back to sleep.. now i can say I’ll wake up with sun rise.